Dumb shirts for dumb people you know you want to buy a dumb shirt to show all your friends how dumb they are Moordoors Mister Frodo Risin, gotta keep on risin Three Daly Moon The man, the myth, the legend, the three daly moon shirt. I’ve heard stories of this shirt turning people’s lives around, winning golf tournaments, the lottery, kingdoms. Three. Daly. Moon Barbenheimer On July 16th, 1945, J. Robert Barbenheimer set out on an expedition with Trinity to save the world… She was right Sinead did nothing wrong Genocide Bibi! Do you like to weaponize sympathy and eliminate groups of people? Are you waging war just to stay in power and out of jail? Then you’ll love this shirt! Eclipse 2024! OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SUN! IT’S GOD’S ASSHOLE AND IT’S GOING TO SWALLOW US ALL!!! Henry Kissinger is burning in Hell Man, its about time. This man was evil incarnate. Anthony Bourdain once said, “Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands” West Taiwan Just give it time…. Self Care… When you’ve been through a little too much and that bubble bath won’t quite fix the situation you are in, take matters into your own hands and fix your situation. Orcagate Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI’s most unwanted. I want to believe, you want to believe, these orcas know what is best for the world and that is taking down the rich. Taylor Slow Everyone has different tastes in music, but sometimes those tastes tell a story. A very long poppy story with insane fans that are practicing for a house full of cats. Ronald Reagan is burning in Hell Ronald Reagan was a terrible person, actor, and president and now he’s burning in hell. Show off your feelings toward Ronald Reagan, the cause of most problems in the world today! Hell Broke Snoop I had a good home but I left I had a good home but I left, right, left That big fucking bomb made me deaf, deaf a Humvee mechanic put his Kevlar on wrong. I want to believe Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI’s most unwanted. Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Is someone keeping you from the front of the line at *bucks? Let them know what you are about with this shirt, Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss your way to the front of the line. Fuckabee Arkansas was once a wonderful land of opportunity until a family named Huckabee came to town and really cocked shit up. They took their shit on a national tour and they are now back in Arkansas. How am I not myself? Acid Monkey I am just a divine baboon witnessing the solar journey. Stumbling through life, possibly on drugs. Not Merrick Garland Once upon a time the evil warlock Scalia died while at a rich wizards castle. A knight named Merrick Garland came to the rescue but was stopped by the evil turtle Mitch and replaced with NOT MERRICK GARLAND. Tom Cotton is totally gay Late one night when cruising Grindr, I matched with a nerdy looking dude in DC, he was really weird but I went with it. That was the strangest night of my life, fuckin’ Tom Bottom Fucking Cotton. I fucked Elon Musk’s Mom A night of passion 30 years ago with a strange woman I met in a bar in New York left me with a strange feeling, who was this woman and why did I feel like this would be something I’d be telling people on a shirt in 30 years? Sarah Fuckabee Sanders Once only a lowly press secretary, lying to Americans and being generally awful, now she’s back in town and wrecking the joint. Nepotism and corruption at it’s worst, just really an awful person. Zappa Christ If god were real, I’d worship that. Borked! Sometimes you really do just bork it. Dark Mark Lanegan Mark Lanegan, the Night Porter Melissa Vedder In the year 2030, scientists at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory National Ignition Facility turn on their fusion reactor to generate unlimited clean energy. The festivities are abuzz, Melissa Etheridge is playing an opening set to celebrate… but when the reactor is turned on, a giant worm hole opens up and swallows Melissa Etheridge. Little do we know that she was sent back in time to ROCK OUT AS EDDIE VEDDER! Let’s give some other monkeys a chance! Well, we’ve really screwed the pooch with this humanity thing. It’s probably time to step back and just let someone else give it a go. Why not give some other monkeys a chance. My money is on the orangutans. Sinead did nothing wrong Sinead O’Connor was right. She did nothing wrong, except expose years of abuse by clergy. Taylor Sith Just when the Jedi thought balance had been brought to the universe, a new Sith Lord appeared to just shake it off. Live… Laugh… TOASTER BATH LIVE LAUGH HAHAHAHAHAHAH TOASTER BATH Winnie S Thompson We were somewhere around the 100 acre wood when the honey began to take hold. I remember saying something like, “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive….” This must be bat country.
